Higglytown Heroes is computer animation and everyone looks like those Russian nesting dolls – vaguely bowling-pin like and hollow inside. Sometimes the Higglyites (Higglyians?) will just open in the middle and take something out relevant to the task at hand – say, a bike helmet before a ride, or a squirrel. Someone always has a squirrel on their head. I don’t know why. I don’t think my kid could explain it either, even if she was a year older. It’s one of those things that just is. The other day a character realized her baby was coming right then, and they had to rush off to the hospital and that episode’s hero, an ambulance driver, got her out of being stuck in traffic, since evidently you just can’t get in that other lane on your own if you’re on the way to the hospital. So cut to she’s in a hospital bed holding what looks like a short fat old school Fisher-Price person, the ones they stopped making because idiots were giving them to children who were too young and trying to eat them.

So opening at the middle at splitting in half is only for bike helmets and squirrels? Hello? I wanted to see her just flip her torso up, pull out the kid, and keep going. I know, I know, it’s trying to teach kids something, but still, don’t these folks know how to tell a story? I demand internally consistent absurdity in my kid shows. Who do I complain to?


This was published on 30 Jun 2005.
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